And now I can finally move on.
I can finally live with “water under the bridge” thing.
To you, thank you for the apology. I know I have forgiven
you, but there was a part of me that was angry because I thought you were too
proud and because I thought that you were putting all the blame in me. The word
“I’m sorry” meant a lot to me.
And yes. That’s how important being sorry is to me. I admire
people who can let go of everything totally.
Everyday, I’m praying that I could be that kind of person
too, that I won’t mind you as long as I’m going on with my life. But I just can’t.
I have a need to settle things completely, I have a need to say what is on my
mind (just like now). I have that kind of thought, that you have to be sorry,
you don’t need to regret it, I just need you to be sorry so that I would feel
you are honoring my pain. That before I could close the door, I need something
to make sure of myself that I will never go to that door again and open it.
Yes, your apology was the one last thing I am waiting for, to finally throw
that key to nowhere.
I am also honoring the pain I may have brought you. And I
never want to go back in that stage of my life where I had too many confusions. That’s
why today, I am putting everything behind me. Because now, I can say that I
totally forgive you, and I hope you did the same thing with me. I wish nothing
but the best for you. I may not be around, you may not find me anywhere, but
keep in mind that I asked God to help you and look out for you as you are
traversing life.
Thank you for everything. You may not know it, but in some
way or another, you helped me.
One day.., I wish I could tell you everything.
