Not a TomKat fairytale

For how many weeks now, I am so into Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's break-up. Every morning, I visit People.com to know what the latest is. I was shocked, maybe as shocked as Tom Cruise when I found out about the divorce.

They seemed to be very happy together. In pictures, there was nothing but smile and happiness and contentment. Katie seemed to be a lucky girl who married his Prince Charming and Tom Cruise is., well Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise.

But what went wrong?

I’m not a fan of either of the two. I’m just this normal girl who watches Tom Cruise’s movies because not watching those aren’t normal. But I am very intrigued about the divorce.

Is it just the way it is for Hollywood couple?

But I don’t want to dig deeper because I know nothing about their marriage, but here are some points that I think, necessary for couples to deal with before saying "I DO".

RELIGION

Religion plays a vital role in a marriage. These are the beliefs that will mold your family. It is the faith that you will hold on to when everything is nothing. For me, it is not something that you will just let go for the one you love. It is not something that you will just easily trade-off. Couple should talk about it, it is not a topic of “we’ll get to that later”. For me it is important and urgent.

FINANCIAL SECURITY

Money is important. Let’s stop the bull crap in saying "our love will find a way". Not that I’m saying that it should be a number one priority but it should be a priority. The food to eat, the house to live in, the clothes to wear, the life you want to give to your family is not payable in L-O-V-E, it is actually payable in C-A-S-H.

MATURITY

I am already 26, am I matured enough to get married? Maybe it doesn’t lie on my age alone. It lies on my maturity level. Am I willing to compromise some of the important things in my life to begin a family? Am I matured enough to accept the fact that I can’t or shan’t or won’t make decisions alone because I already have a better half? Am I matured enough to leave a life of independence and enter a life of interdependence?  These are important questions that need a lot of thorough thinking.

Among others, love, acceptance, respect, trust are important ingredients in a relationship. I am no expert in relationships, but when I get married, I want to make it last. I want to embrace the sacred promise of “till death do us part”. I believe a relationship is a work of love, of trust, of supreme acceptance and respect.

That is why I told myself not to answer the question “will you marry me?” with a YES if there’s no diamond ring, I mean, without thinking thoroughly.  Because if I say “yes”, eventually I will say “I do”. And when that time comes, I wanted to be sure that he is the one, not because some cliché’ makes him the one but because I made him my "the one". And I will make it work. And we will make it work. And we will beat the odds.

And our story will be far from TomKat fairytale turned into divorce. It will be like Carl and Ellie (the characters in UP, the movie with a  flying house). Where they grow old together. Where they fulfill the promise of “till death do us part”.